Co-parenting through the holidays

HOLIDAYS ARE HARD AT THE BEST OF TIMES.  CO-PARENTING THROUGH THE HOLIDAYS ADDS SO MANY EXTRA PRESSURES... FINANCIAL, SCHEDULING, HURT & SADNESS, LONELINESS, FAMILY... HOLIDAY PARENTING RESOURCE WEBSITE HAS BEEN CREATED TO HELP SINGLE PARENTS NAVIGATE THE HOLIDAYS IN A WAY THAT IS AMICABLE AND THAT PUTS THE CHILDREN'S WELLBEING AS TOP PRIORITY.

Putting Children

FIRST!

 

We know how hard it is to put aside personal hurt, resentments and anger.  We know that getting to a place of working together to co-parent takes a LOT of work and a LOT of maturity (and a whole lotta biting our tongues!) We also know that children of split families have so many complexities in their lives as it is, that being amicalble and putting aside your differences to put the children first is the VERY BIGGEST GIFT you can give your children through the holidays.  

While not an option for every family. This Mom and Dad make sure to get a family portrait together each year so their daughter can see that even though they are not together, that she can look back at her life to see that they were able to come together at times as her family.

"How will Santa find us?" 

A book for children with two homes

The new normal

 

Finding your new normal after separation is a huge adjustment and in my case left me feeling overwhelmed and panicked. How was I going to make Christmas memorable and special for my children?  At first, I went overboard, overcompensating and buying too much even when it put me under financial stress.  Over time, we started to create our own new traditions. We chopped down our own tree, we got to open one present the night before, we had "disappear bear" (our own elf on the shelf) we even had one Christmas where everything we gave was "pre-loved" It kept the budget in check, helped us to find unique and meaningful presents and helped them to learn that it's not how much something costs that determine the value.  So whatever it is that you decide, go easy on yourself and the old adage really rings true that presence is the biggest present I could give my children.  

“How Will Santa Find me?” Is a great book introducing the holidays for newly changing families. The holidays can bring up lots of questions for children, especially for those who are experiencing a changing family dynamic or have two homes. Navigating the holidays can be tricky at the best of times, and Carin normalizes it for children and families in a fun and easy to digest way.

 

Alana Kaplan, MSW, RSW

Child and Family Therapist

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*Please note that our suggetions on this site are meant as resources and not in place of professional councelling or emergency services. if you or your children are in any immediate danger to seek immediate help. Please see our resources section for helpline numbers.

Print version coming soon!

​© 2019 BY CARIN SMOLINSKI

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